Dear, whether you like it or not, marriage will surely cost you so much than you think of. If we only focus on being happy in marriage, then we will be more likely to want out of our marriage when it gets hard. When discussing how much marriage cost we often tend to think about the money for the venue, cakes, and catering. so . It is important that you step out of your own mind for some time and consider your spouse’s feelings and opinion. 3. In order to bring more balance and happiness to your marriage, the two of you must commit to getting healthy as individuals, whatever that means for you. Find out in this three part series that will debunk some common marriage myths and give you insight into the Biblical understanding of marriage. Marriage is not about your happiness! Marriage is for the happiness of both of you, and you can get this happiness by compromising. This is an incredibly low and selfish thought to have. It’s about sacrifice, serving, giving, forgiving—and then … It’s about love—which is something we choose to give time and time again. This thought will help in your marriage and make it last and at the end of the day, the more you give, the more you will receive. It’s about sacrifice, serving, giving, forgiving—and then doing it all over again. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. That is the call of a husband to his wife. Marriage makes you put your partner’s need in front of yours and give their desire more importance. Marriage is made up of things like; trust, compromise, mutual respect and more. However, that’s not all; marriage costs both the people more than more; it costs them something great and more valuable than dollars; it costs them themselves. Keep on reading to find out more about what marriage is about. When that is our mindset, it only reflects how self-centred and helpless we can be. Two lessons they've learned during their 41 years of marriage that they'll talk about are: Marriage isn't about your happiness, and God is at work in your marriage… Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. That simple shift will revolutionize the way you view your marriage and role in it. It’s about love—which is something we choose to give time and time again. This thought is what is ruining relationships today and increasing the rate of divorce. So how do compromising works? You will have to be fair with your decisions. God meant for marriage to be centered on Him. For example, you may say that “I want to live in the city because that is closer to my work area” or say “I want to have kids because I am ready and financially stable” or “I want to have kids because my biological clock is ticking.”. Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to deal with a narcissist in a relationship, How to Get Back Together After Separation, Best Relationship Tips for a Healthy Marriage, 8 Signs Indicating Insecurity in Relationships, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages. But even in our brokenness, we can understand God’s design. One thing is for sure: marriage is not about your happiness. For two people working together as a team, each member must give and take. Not registered yet? No true relationship based on love is for you; it is entirely for the person that you love and want to settle down with. Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to deal with a narcissist in a relationship, How to Get Back Together After Separation, Best Relationship Tips for a Healthy Marriage, 8 Signs Indicating Insecurity in Relationships, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages. Debre K Fileta at Relevant Magazine explores this theme and explains "What true love will teach you about you." Marriage is not about your happiness, it’s not even about you. What an accurate reflection of the self-centered society we live in, everyone believing that their main goal in life is THEIR OWN personal happiness. But try to do that without any sarcasm and make use of a steady tone. Ecclesiastes 4:12 reminds us, "And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken" (ESV). I didn’t assume so both. This means that you must be willing to compromise. Americans say happiness is paramount; the Bible says that God’s glory is the reason for marriage. This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience. We can fail to experience happiness in marriage because we belong to our self-centeredness more than to our spouses. It’s about sacrifice, serving, giving, forgiving, and then doing it … A  couple getting married can easily spend tens of thousands on their wedding. Marriage is not about your happiness; it is about God’s glory. This society believes in control, power and always having the upper hand in the relationship. Due to human nature, we often tend to get selfish we often opt for divorce over lifelong commitment because we end up choosing our personal agenda over real commitment and real love. You see these signs conclude you are not happy in a marriage and your first impulse is to take the back door and save yourself from a loveless and unhappy marriage.Ending a marriage is not always the solution for an unhappy marriage. Being in a marriage makes you respond with love even when you are boiling with anger; it makes you lend your ear to your partner even when your eyes are draping down with sleep. It will cost you comfort, your pride, and your right. It's about LOVE, which is something we choose to give time and time again. Once you commit to a relationship, you must consider the wants, needs, and happiness of your spouse. Of course, marriage can bring some of those happy moments into your life, but you must believe me when I told you that marriage is not about your happiness. How exactly can marriage make us more holy? It’s about LOVE, which is something we choose to give time and time again. Marriage is not about your happiness, it’s not even about you. Men Reveal the Subtle Things Women Do That Turns Them on like Mad, 4 Step Parenting Books That Will Make the Difference. How Do Sex Toys Spice up Things in a Marriage? Here is why I said. This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience. That is what marriage is about. If you are planning on getting married with the goal in mind: “Make Yourself Happy” then the joke is on you. It’s about sacrifice, serving, giving, forgiving, and then doing it … Sign up for an account. Learn more. Ecclesiastes 4:12 reminds us, "And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken" (ESV). When reading the book Choosing Marriage, the author wrote that her husband was a poor medical student and was broke, however; he spends around two months surviving on bologna sandwiches in order to decrease his grocery budget by $10 a week. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. Compromising is a necessary part of the success of a marriage. Marriage is not about your happiness, it’s not even about you. This seems like a lot of investment however as compared to the real cost of marriage; this is nothing. This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience. It’s about love—which is something we choose to give time and time again. Marriage is about giving your piece of cake to your partner so that they enjoy it. Once you have weighed in your options and considered your spouse’s feeling and decided to remain fair, then stick with the decision you make. 100 Love Songs for Him – Express Your Romantic Feelings! Why Not Happiness? One great way to bring happiness back into your relationship is to make more … Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? Read on below to find out! The truth behind marriage is its cost; when thinking about marriage and its cost what comes to your mind? It’s about LOVE – which is something we choose to give time and time again. 4. It’s about LOVE – which is something we choose to give time and time again. Marriage revolves around love, which you plan on giving time and time again. When that is our mindset, it only reflects how self-centred and helpless we can be. Jesus was a servant king. Try to pay full attention to what they are saying. The society of today believes that if you are not happy in the, It is about giving, forgiving, sacrificing and doing it all over again. Marriage Marriage and Happiness: 18 Long-Term Studies Getting married does not make you happier. God has things He wants to work on in your heart. For compromise to work properly, it is essential that you remain fair. It's about LOVE, which is something we choose to give time and time again. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. However, remember in the end you will have to take the decision as a pair and not as if you are single. How Do Sex Toys Spice up Things in a Marriage? It is about giving, forgiving, sacrificing and doing it all over again. The truth about real commitment is offering yourself up in big and small ways. Marriages can have joy, but not happiness and that is a godly part of the journey. It’s not about you. Try to truly understand your spouse no matter how difficult it is. Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. Many people today have no idea how to compromise and are used in making decisions that satisfy them alone. Marriage revolves around love, which you plan on giving time and time again. God designed us to live for Him and to live for others. But there is a trap in this thinking that many of us never see: We focus on being happy more than we do on God's design for us. Many people and young couples today claim that if they are not happy with someone in their marriage, then they shouldn’t stay. God designed us to live for Him and to live for others. No wonder we choose divorce overcommitment. Drs.Les & Leslie Parrot They aim at doing what they think is right and not to tolerate anything less. Marriage is about forgiving your partner after being hurt. Marriage is not about your happiness, it's not even about you. 100 Love Songs for Him – Express Your Romantic Feelings! Marriage is not about your happiness, it’s not even about you. Marriage is never about your happiness; marriage does not revolve around you. Marriage is not about your happiness, it’s not even about you. Think about how your partner will feel giving in to your opinion or why does she have a different opinion than you do. Not registered yet? If you are planning on getting wedded and your main goal in the marriage is to keep yourself happy, then you are in for a real treat. By continuing to browse the site you consent to the use of cookies. The magic of marriage is that it’s not meant to make you feel happy in that dopamine-laced, movie-ending kind … This thought is what is ruining relationships today and increasing the rate of. "Marriage Is Not About Your Happiness" Marriage is costly. Related Reading I’m unhappy in my arranged marriage and live a fake life on social media. The reason behind this sacrifice was to be able to buy an engagement ring. Make sure to consider options as an individual as well as a couple. The truth is that marriage is hard! It’s about sacrifice, serving, giving, forgiving, and then doing it … It's not that God doesn't want our marriages to bring us deep satisfaction and happiness, it's just that marriage is bursting with opportunities for deeper spiritual growth—opportunities we may be missing if we're not asking all the right questions. This is an incredibly low and selfish thought to have. You must also stay away from attacking your spouse with demands. Till I came upon that my then-boyfriend-now-husband (a poor, broke, medical college pupil on the time) spent shut to 2 months consuming bologna sandwiches on daily basis with a view to lower down his … Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. But what do these opportunities look like in everyday life? The more you give, the better you will be, real love is not seeking your happiness and will always cost you more. If your job is not bringing you happiness, then quit. Especially when your own needs and wants cloud out your judgment. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience. No wonder we choose divorce over commitment. What Is Relationship Chemistry and How Important Is It? I love watching five year olds play soccer. Make use of the “I” statement to fully communicate with your spouse and tell them what you want and need in your relationship. To you before you plan on spending on your wedding venue or your engagement ring your marriage every can! 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